Not long ago, I read something from a Colombian leader I deeply respect.
It stuck with me for days—like one of those lines you don’t just read, you feel.
It said:
“I suggest you prepare less for board meetings.”
Just like that.
No warm-up. No cushion.
I’ll share the full story in a moment, but what kept circling in my head was that quiet tension so many of us feel—yet rarely admit—between giving it all and making space.
What if giving it all isn’t always the best move?
I’ll admit—I’ve been there.
I’ve walked into meetings or projects over-prepared, loaded with ideas, driven to contribute, to add value, to prove my clarity, commitment, passion.
Because that’s what we do when we love what we do, right?
We want to be ready. We want to bring the answers. We want to light the way.
But I’ve also asked myself:
- What if by being too ready, I’m leaving less room for others to step in?
- What if my preparation is quietly stealing the chance for someone else to shine, to grow, to even be seen?
The leader who told his story realized that his drive to give everything—and to stay in control—had, without meaning to, reduced his team’s spotlight.
And it cost him—just as it costs us all—to realize that sometimes the bravest form of leadership is to step aside.
He started speaking less. Delegating more. Trusting more.
And, maybe the boldest move of all: challenging himself.
But here’s my dilemma…
I’ve tried to give more space. I still do.
But one question lingers like a shadow:
- What if someone still needs to give it all?
- What if my absolute commitment—my obsession with raising the bar—could actually inspire others to do the same?
We live in a world where being “lighter” or “less intense” is often seen as maturity or wisdom.
And yes, there’s beauty in not needing to take up all the space.
But should we shrink ourselves so that others can grow?
What if being fully prepared is also an act of generosity?
Imagine a workplace where everyone shows up at their best.
Where excellence doesn’t intimidate—it spreads.
Where each person’s peak performance reminds others of their own.
Is that ego? Could that be inspiration?
It’s not about standing out to overshadow—it’s about shining so others can see more clearly.
It’s not about being “the one who knows the most,” but about being the one who lifts the most.
So… where’s the balance?
The truth? I don’t know.
And maybe that’s the answer.
There’s no single formula.
Sometimes, the moment calls for silence.
Other times, for speaking with full conviction.
There are moments to step back…
And moments to step forward with everything we’ve got.
What I do know is this:
Leadership isn’t about control.
And it isn’t about disappearing.
It’s about being present.
Aware.
Curious.
It’s about reading the room—and yourself.
It’s about knowing when to take space and when to give it away.
Maybe we’re not here to solve this tension, but to dance with it.
Sometimes taking the lead.
Sometimes giving it away.
But always, and I mean always, with intention.
So… where are you in the dance today?
– Diana
Founder of N3XU
Fellow Traveler. Systems Nerd. Believer in Thoughtful Change.
